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Most REALTORS® believe that real estate is a transactional business.

These agents are members of the struggling majority.

Real estate is NOT a transactional business. 

Real estate is a relationship-based business. 

If you want more clients, you need to maintain your existing relationships and find ways to interact with more people more often.

Most importantly, you need the right skills to develop trust and rapport with others.

The most successful REALTORS® project a harmonious balance between these four key attributes:

• Professionalism
• Confidence
• Friendliness
• Authenticity

When you watch the best of the best, this balancing act seems completely natural, as if they were born this way. But these naturals are exceedingly rare. 

Most Masters of Relationship Selling have studied human interaction and internalized the techniques they’ve learned until they became habitual and an integral part of their personality. 

This isn’t fakey! On the contrary, it’s consciously becoming a better version of yourself. 

What about you?  Ask a close friend for their honest opinion. If you are not clearly projecting ALL FOUR of the key attributes in your human interactions, consider how you could improve.

Most agents are weak in at least one of the four. What about you?

When you are honest with yourself and you work to improve your core competencies, you’ll be surprised how quickly people become drawn to you.

Translation: You’ll have all the business you want without ever chasing it.

Professionalism

Professionalism is not about how you dress or what kind of car you drive. I know plenty of snazzy-dressing, shiny-Beemer-driving agents who are otherwise entirely unprofessional.

Yes, your car should be shiny clean, and no, you shouldn’t wear flip-flops to your listing appointment. But these things are superficial.

It’s a thousand times more important to consistently maintain a high level of integrity and the burning desire to deliver outstanding results. 

Having high integrity and being true to your values isn’t always easy, but it’s essential if you want to develop a reputation as a Trusted Expert. That’s my definition of a true professional. 

But how do you achieve this?

Professionals place high importance on improving their knowledge and skills to consistently deliver exceptional results.

Think about it. Isn’t this the reason WHY we seek advice from a professional? For their expertise? 

If you adopt this mindset, you’ll be paying cash for that new Beemer before you know it, rather than stretching your finances to pay a lease you can’t afford merely to pretend you’re a professional.

Confidence

The more knowledge you gain and skills you develop, the more confidence you will naturally exude. However, even if you feel very confident, you must determine if that confidence is coming through in your voice. Ask a close friend for feedback.

Be careful not to overdo it! People are attracted to quiet but firm confidence—not boastfulness. 

Here are a few tips to increase your confidence level:

1. Always make steady eye contact.
2. Listen to learn, twice as much as you speak. 
3. State your opinions with conviction. To do this with sincerity, you must thoroughly understand your craft!
4. Prepare and practice. For example, if you’ve got a newly developed listing presentation and haven’t practiced it thoroughly, you’ll probably not sound very confident.

I’m a proponent of the Deep Practice method:

• Practice small chunks at a time. For instance, rather than practicing your entire listing presentation all at once, just practice one segment;
• Repetition, repetition, repetition. Do it quickly, do it slowly, do it differently. But keep repeating the action. 

Friendliness

Whenever you are in situations where you’re talking to people, whether on the phone or face-to-face, you want to come across as a friendly person, especially with Amiable and Expressive communication styles (half the population).

(Read more about communication styles here: Why Certain People Drive You Crazy)

This applies to email messages, also! Don’t overdo this but sprinkle some ‘friendly’ into your email messaging, especially near the beginning of your relationship.

When I say, “Don’t overdo it,” I mean be aware of who you’re talking to. Many people do not react well to extremely boisterous overly-friendly people. They see it as fakey and off-putting.  

That said, your natural friendliness is a key advantage, so use it, but if you want more success, you need to improve the other three attributes as well, and constantly seek out that harmonious balance. 

By the way, I think of myself as a naturally friendly person, but I’ve been told by friends that I sometimes come across as grumpy and disinterested.

This feedback has helped me have better self-awareness, so I’m more conscious about this part of my persona in both work-related and social situations.

Self-awareness is the key to self-improvement. So, ask for feedback, be conscious of your delivery, and make adjustments as necessary.  

Authenticity

When you study sales techniques, being “yourself” is not discussed much, but it is highly effective in a relationship-based business, such as real estate. 

You should always look for ways to better connect with your prospects and clients.

This is why I hate scripts (except when memorizing the critical points of a presentation). 

No matter how smooth you think you are, your prospects can feel when you’re reciting from a script.  

Being genuine can’t be faked. If you’re dead honest and your clients know you have their best interests at heart, and you thoroughly understand your craft, why do you need a script for anything?

Besides, it’s much more fun and satisfying to be yourself and speak to your clients in the same way as you would a friend.

Conclusion

In case you’ve never heard this before:

People do not particularly like salespeople.

So, don’t be a Salesy Slickster.

Instead:

Be a friendly, professional, confident, authentic provider of valuable information and expertise.

(The above is a severely hatcheted version of Module #6, ‘Relationship Selling,’ in the Agent Skills Master’s Program.)

Liars and cheaters tend to be distrustful of others. It’s a reflection of themselves.

Conversely, honest, trustworthy people tend to assume that others will trust them implicitly. But this is a mistake!

Trust is earned. It takes time and purposefulness to build trust with clients who don’t know you as your friends and family do. 

If you want success, your clients need to believe in their hearts that you genuinely care about their success. They need to know that this is not “just another transaction” for you.

Here are six reminders of how to build a strong bond of trust with your clients:

1. Take your time to get to know your client and learn what makes them tick

If you’re in a mad rush all the time, your clients will perceive that you don’t have enough time for them and you don’t really care. So slow down! 

Allow a little more time at the beginning of the relationship to sit and listen and envision how you’ll be able to fulfill their needs. Remember that everyone is different.

2. Be responsible and respectful

Timely and proactive communication is vital to your relationship. Clients must have confidence that they can rely on you to provide the information they need. Speak plainly and honestly to demonstrate that you always have their best interests at heart. 

For example, you may not think that sending frequent updates about minor things is important, but your clients most likely do.

3. Be yourself

It’s hard to connect with someone who is all business all the time. So don’t be that person! Look for topics of mutual interest, whether it be sports, hobbies, the latest Netflix series, or whatever. 

This will not only promote the feeling of a “partnership,” but it also makes your relationship more fun! 

4. Be dead honest 100% of the time

If you think your client is making a mistake, tell them. Yes, you will occasionally talk yourself out of a sale, but building a reputation as a trustworthy person is worth far more than any single sale. You’re in this for the long game, right?

If you make a mistake, be quick to admit it, apologize, and be prepared with a plan on how to move forward. We all make mistakes occasionally, but it’s how you deal with your mistakes that proves your trustworthiness.

5. Go above and beyond

If your goal in business is to create a never-ending stream of incoming referrals, know this: Mere competence doesn’t cut it. You need to do more. But it doesn’t take much!

It’s the little things you do differently than others, done consistently, that make people stand up and take notice.

6. Take the time to check in and make adjustments

We’re in a relationship-based business, so take the time to check in with your clients and ask them… about the relationship! 

How are they doing? And how are you doing? Is there any additional information you could provide? Is there anything you could do better?

If they have feedback, make sure you listen to understand and make adjustments moving forward.

Developing a strong bond of trust with your clients is easier than you might think. The key takeaways from this RAM are being more aware and taking more time to devote to the relationship.

In my local market (Calgary), we are experiencing the lowest inventory levels since 2006, with absorption rates well over 100% (less than a single month of inventory) in many segments.

This means every decent property listed at a reasonable price gets snapped up, often well over asking, which can obviously be super frustrating for buyers.

(If your local market is different, please read on anyway. The underlying message here is about improving communication, regardless of market conditions.)

Recently, after a showing, one of my newer buyer clients told me, “Hey, we’ve been thinking. We’re not in a hurry, so we’re going to back off for a while and wait for the market conditions to cool down, and then we’ll get back at it.” 

Oh, oh. Time for a talk! I suggested we stop at a nearby coffee shop for a quick chat, and they agreed. The following is, in essence, what I told them:

1. “I completely understand how you feel. This is highly stressful for everyone, and sometimes it must feel impossible to succeed.

2. However, by the time the market cools down, prices may have gone up 10% or more, so if you back off now, you will have completely missed out on this gain! 

(These clients were looking around the $500,000 range, so I put it into numbers – $50,000 – which is more impactful.) So rather than missing out on a $50,000 gain, consider doing this instead:

3. Accept the situation. It is what it is, and you (or I) can’t change it.

4. Think about viewing properties as “doing your homework.” You need to see properties to get a feel for the market and be confident to act when the right opportunity presents itself. This will give you a significant advantage over competing buyers. Believe me, the clients who have done their homework are always the winners in a competing offer scenario.

5. Know this: Viewing properties is my favourite part of my job BY FAR, so please NEVER worry about “wasting my time!” (This is 100% true.) Even if we know you’re just doing your homework and you’re definitely not going to write, this is all part of the process, and I’m absolutely fine with it!

6. Keep an eye out for every property that pops up on your search, and if it looks good, let’s book a showing ASAP. Time is of the essence, and the early bird often catches the worm. So if it’s a good property offering good value (I’ll be able to tell you), let’s go ahead and submit an offer! You probably have little to no leverage in negotiating a better price on the first day on the market, but it’s better to pay the full price today rather than 5% over tomorrow. 

Of course, this depends on how well-priced the property is, which is all the more reason to do your homework. 

7. If you miss out on one (or two or three), try not to despair! I’ve had numerous occurrences this year where we’ve successfully got a great property after a few tries. 

In summary, be both diligent and calm!

Don’t give up, but don’t stress yourself out, either. Hey, I can handle the stress for both of us. I’ve done this a thousand times.

And remember, I ❤️ looking at properties. So call me. Please!”

That’s the essence of what I told them, and by the end, they were right back on board, and I’m sure we’ll find them a good property soon.

Think about it this way: If your clients are thinking the wrong way (to their own detriment), it’s probably your fault. They need better guidance. Maybe it’s time to take them out for a coffee and a talk!

Last RAM, I talked about The Basic Foundational Skill of Responding to Messages. 

We agents get messages from multiple sources, of course, but it’s email where most of us have a colossal organizational problem.

Do you know how often I email another agent whom I know and respect, yet I never get a response? Way too often! 

I follow up with them, and they provide the standard excuse. “Oh, sorry! I missed that somehow!” but I know precisely how.

It’s because their inbox is a Giant Black Abyss ⚫. Emails go in and get devoured, never to be seen again. 

If you have a Giant Black Abyss ⚫, I guarantee you’re losing business from potential clients, and you’re completely unaware of it. So here’s an idea: How about taking a break from chasing “crappy leads” and repairing this very real problem first? Like, right now?

Within this RAM, I’ll explain how to eliminate your Giant Black Abyss, but first, you need to learn the Five D’s:

1. DO – Respond immediately (whenever you are working in your inbox). If it takes less than two minutes, just DO it! If you respond but still require a follow-up, make a notation in your tasks list, calendar it, or simply leave the email in your inbox as a reminder to yourself. Otherwise, DELETE or DESIGNATE.

2. DELETE – If you’re done with an email and know you will never need the information again, DELETE it. You should also ruthlessly unsubscribe to useless emails you never read. If it’s information you might need in the future, DESIGNATE it.

3. DESIGNATE – File emails containing important information in different folders and sub-folders so you can locate them more easily in the future. For example, I have two big folders – Active Clients and Inactive Clients (completed deals) – and a sub-folder under each of those Master Folders for every client. This is where I keep ALL the emails I get pertaining to any one of my clients.

4. DELEGATE – Forward the email to someone else; your assistant, your bookkeeper, another agent, or whoever is going to take care of it. 

5. DEFER – If you’re working in your inbox and you’re short on time, simply start a reply and then leave it. Purposely use your Drafts Folder for each email that requires a response but is not urgent. Now, the next time you come back to work in your inbox, your Drafts Folder acts as a sort-of “To-Do” list.

Can you see how these rules will help you regain control over your inbox, Jim-Bobby?

Now, what about the Giant Black Abyss ⚫—the backlog of 29,500 emails you’ll probably never look at again for the rest of your life? 

Simple: Make an archive file and move over ALL of your old emails; at least everything up to the end of 2022. Do you really need emails from last year in your inbox? No, you do not.

Note: I said archive, not delete. You might need to access one of those ancient emails in the future, so don’t worry; you’re not throwing them away!

After you’ve completed archiving, set aside an hour or two to power through the remaining emails in your inbox using the Five D’s. You can DELETE a lot of them!

DESIGNATE most of the remaining to various Folders and Sub-Folders that you can set up as part of the clean-up process.

Then, simply remember to use the Five D’s from now on!

Bonus: Here’s a sixth D, and possibly the most important one for many of you:

6. DON’T be a slave to your inbox!

Turn off notifications, and learn to work on emails frequently in short bursts. You’ll be surprised how many emails you can burn through in 15 minutes when your inbox isn’t a Giant Black Abyss ⚫.

Using the Five D’s, you can easily manage the 10-50 emails in your inbox. Yes, that’s all I typically have in mine, and there’s no reason you can’t too.