Category: 6. Relationship Selling

We all know someone who is overflowing with confidence for no apparent reason. There’s a psychological term for this — “unwarranted self-confidence.” 

These types seem to be able to survive on sheer confidence alone! Why is that?

It’s because people are attracted to self-confidence. One assumes that if a person is extremely confident, they must know their stuff. Right?

The problem is that the more you get to know this person, the more you realize that their self-confidence is the only thing they’ve got going for them.

In Relationship Selling (module #6), I teach how to find the right balance of Professionalism, Confidence, Friendliness, and Authenticity. You need all four.

But let’s talk about the confidence part, for now.

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If you often feel under-confident, it’s probably because you’re smart enough to know that your skills could be better. That’s why you’re reading this right now.

Sadly, people with unwarranted self-confidence don’t see the need to improve their skills.

But you? Improving your skills is the quickest way to greater self-confidence.

Confidence, combined with highly-refined skills, is a compelling mixture in a relationship-based business, such as Real Estate.

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To improve your skills (and confidence), I recommend the Deep Practice Method. 

For example, let’s say you’ve developed a fabulous new listing presentation. Now you need to learn to deliver it with polish and confidence. Here are the steps you need to take:

The Deep Practice Method

1. Schedule a day and time for your practice session. A one-hour session of Deep Practice is enough to accomplish a lot.
2. Shut off ALL distractions. 
3. Practice only a small portion at a time.
4. Speed up, slow down, and be cognizant of your intonations.
5. Continue concentrating and practicing until you can feel it in your bones.
6. Move on to the next section, and repeat.

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Deep Practice is the quickest, easiest, and most effective way to improve your skills and confidence.

But Deep Practice is a skill unto itself. For most of us, just learning to shut off distractions is a massive challenge.

“The enemy of Mastery is not mediocrity. It is distractions. The addiction to distractions ruins many potentially awesome lives.” — Robin Sharma.

If you recognize that distractions are a problem for you, you’ve got two great reasons to adopt the Deep Practice Method.

1. To learn the skill, and;
2. To practice working without distractions.

You’ll be lousy at it, at first, just like any new skill. But don’t worry!

The more you practice, the better you’ll get at blocking out distractions, and the quicker you’ll get at learning new skills. That’s how practice works!

It’s worth it. The skill of learning how to concentrate will take you a long way on its own. And once you’ve got that skill, it’s only a matter of time before you’ll be swaggering around with (warranted) self-confidence. That’s the good kind.

That’s the kind of self-confidence that changes lives.

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New! Would you like to rate your current REALTOR® skills? Check out the 70-Skills Challenge

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This article was inspired by module #6 – Relationship Selling – part of the Agent Skills Master’s Program. 

In the ‘Relationship Selling’ module, I explain step-by-step how to attract more clients with the correct balance of professionalism, confidence, friendliness, and authenticity. If you’re weak on any one of these attributes, it could be severely affecting your potential. Luckily, this is easy to fix by learning a few simple skills. 

Here’s another article inspired by the same module: NOT Being a Salesperson

The public thinks REALTORS^® sell houses and condos. They’re wrong.

A New Home Salesperson sells houses and condos. But that’s completely different because the new-home salesperson’s wants and needs are in direct conflict with the buyer’s.

As an AGENT, your wants and needs are perfectly aligned with your buyer, as we discussed last week in Ten Tips for Working with Builders.

In every case, whether you are working with a buyer or seller, new or used, your role is to provide expert advice and facilitate a transaction that best suits your client’s wants and needs, without regard to your own.

At least that’s what you’re supposed to do.

And it’s what’s in your own best interests as well, if you intend to make a long-term career out of Real Estate.

The most successful agents are quietly completing 50-100 deals every year, without needing to spend a ton on advertising. They don’t need a huge advertising budget because they have a steady stream of incoming referrals, provided by their happy past clients.

Why? Because they’re constantly investing their TIME in improving their knowledge and skills, and building trusting relationships.

Others invest their MONEY in advertising. But ask yourself, “WHY do they have to spend so much on advertising?”

It’s because of their mindset. They think that Real Estate is a single-transaction business. Once the transaction is completed, it’s over. Now their focus is on finding the next “lead.”

But truly successful agents don’t think that way. They know that Real Estate is a relationship-based business.

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You think the “celebrity” agent you see all over town is successful? 

Maybe. It depends on your definition of success.

But I think you’d be surprised to know how many of those agents are in a vicious money-spending loop. 

They’re paying thousands every month on advertising, in order to get new clients, in order to pay for their advertising…

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If you’d rather avoid the money-spending loop, you need to shift your focus from constantly searching for the next “lead” and instead focus on, “How can I do an even better job for my existing clients?”

This requires knowledge and skills and absolute truthfulness.

Sometimes, truthfulness means talking yourself out of a commission check. But protecting your reputation as a knowledgeable and truthful provider of expert advice is priceless.

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“To be persuasive, we must be believable; to be believable, we must be credible; to be credible, we must be truthful.” — Edward R. Murrow.

Confidence is attractive.

When you know what you’re talking about, and you present yourself with skill and authority, people will trust you more.

TRUST is the reason you get business.

So, how can you increase your confidence, and thereby create more trust?

I’m not talking about “unwarranted self-confidence,” also known as “cocky arrogance.”

I know for a fact that you are not suffering from unwarranted self-confidence.

How do I know?

Because these types couldn’t be bothered to read anything to try to improve themselves, which means they’re doomed to stay in their current state forever.

Sure, it’s possible to fool a few people into trusting you through sheer bravado, alone. But it doesn’t last, and it does more harm than good to your brand, overall.

Your brand, by the way, is NOT your logo or your tagline. Those things represent your brand on the surface, but your brand is something much more profound. It’s the feeling that people have about you, what you represent, and why you are different.

That’s a vast topic, which I will discuss in more detail in future blog posts. It’s also the underlying theme of my entire online course – The Agent Skills Master’s Program. After all, when you’ve got skills that are light years ahead of your competitors, it’s incredibly easy and natural to create a powerful brand.

For now, what are some practical ways for you to improve your self-confidence, and thereby increase trust with potential clients?

1. Dress SHARPLY. If you’ve got some favorite clothes that make you feel good, I suggest you invest in upgrading your wardrobe to having more of the clothes you love and get rid of things you never wear. Dressing in sharp-looking clothes every day can make you feel more successful and presentable.
2. Kill the NEGATIVE self-talk. You are what you think! This is too large a topic to cover in a couple of sentences, so please do some additional research if you have a problem with negative self-talk.  There are a few simple skills you can master to put this confidence killer behind you forever.
3. Act POSITIVE. Speak positively and focus on solutions. Energize your actions and think about the positive outcome you want to achieve rather than thinking about why you can’t do it.  I am continually astounded by the power of the mind. Put YOUR mind to work!
4. If you don’t KNOW something, don’t worry about it! I completed 1,000 transactions throughout my Real Estate career, and I uttered this statement almost daily: “I don’t know, but I’ll find out!” Then guess what I did?  I found out and responded.  You can, too. Don’t put unrealistic expectations on yourself that you should know everything.
5. Work on your ORGANIZATIONAL skills and allow yourself extra time to prepare for meetings thoroughly. This is simple. The more prepared you are, the more confident you will feel.
6. Fix your ISSUES. If you need to lose weight, quit smoking, get in better shape, or end an unhealthy relationship, DO it. Or at least take a baby step. Every journey begins with a single step. You’ll be amazed at how personal achievement spills over into your professional life.
7. Set a small GOAL and achieve it. If you need to lose fifty pounds, that can feel overwhelming. But, to get started, what if you commit to not eating after 7:00 pm? That’s it, that’s all, for now. You can set another small goal, later if you want. It’s easy to achieve small goals, one step at a time.
8. Clean up your ACT. You know what I do every morning when I come into my office? I clean up and organize for a few minutes. Then  I get to work in a tidy, organized environment for the rest of the day. It’s a small thing, but it pays off exponentially in increased productivity, and it improves self-esteem and confidence.
9. Be GRATEFUL, kind, generous, and true to your values. It does wonders for your self-esteem and confidence when you feel good about yourself!
10. OWN the fact that you’re better than you think. By taking this course and completing it, you’re accomplishing more than 99% of your competitors! And you’re just going to get better and better and better as you continue. You’re on the right track!

Regarding item #10, please note that I copied these suggestions directly from the Agent Skills Master’s Program. The point is that investing in yourself to increase your knowledge and skills is BY FAR, the best way to improve your confidence dramatically.

Experts exude confidence. That’s why people trust them.

To be persuasive, we must be believable.  To be believable, we must be credible. To be credible, we must be truthful.  — Edward R. Murrow

Wikipedia:

“Edward Roscoe Murrow (born Egbert Roscoe Murrow; April 25, 1908 – April 27, 1965) was an American broadcast journalist and war correspondent. He first gained prominence during World War II with a series of live radio broadcasts from Europe for the news division of CBS. During the war, he recruited and worked closely with a team of war correspondents who came to be known as the Murrow Boys.

A pioneer of radio and television news broadcasting, Murrow produced a series of reports on his television program “See It Now,” which helped lead to the censure of Senator Joseph McCarthy. Fellow journalists Eric Sevareid, Ed Bliss, Bill Downs, Dan Rather, and Alexander Kenrick consider Murrow one of journalism’s greatest figures, noting his honesty and integrity in delivering the news.”

Edward R. Murrow is a reminder of the good old days when truthful and honest reporting was considered a sacred cornerstone of journalism.  ️

What about you?

Are you a source of truthful and honest reporting, like Edward R. Murrow?

If not, you should be. When people learn to rely on you, word gets around. Perhaps this is more important today than ever.

“Call (this agent) if you want to get the straight truth.”

Even though I haven’t been an active agent for some time, I still get calls from past clients and referrals from past clients, asking for advice on what they should do amid a global pandemic. You want to know what I tell them?

If you’re a buyer, don’t be. Wait. There will be the right time to enter the market, but it’s not now. If you need a place to live, rent, and wait it out. It’s going to be a while.

If you’re a seller, get your listing priced to sell ASAP. You own a rapidly depreciating asset, and the faster you sell it, the more you’re going to get. Six months from now, you’re going to look back and be thankful you got what you did.

Note: The above is accurate for my local market. I don’t pretend to understand your market.

The point is, I always tell the truth, and that’s what people have come to expect from me. That’s why they still call me and still recommend me.

You don’t have to agree with me, by the way. That’s not the point. The point is to tell the absolute truth. Honesty always pays off in the long run.

Lessons Learned

Most of us had some previous career before we became REALTORS®. How about you?

What lessons have you learned from your previous life that you can apply to your Real Estate career?

When I was 26, I started a wholesale motorcycle parts distribution company called Power Twins Performance Parts. ️

In my first location, I shared a tiny office with another small business owner and stored my inventory on a 400 sq ft mezzanine.  I remember climbing up and down a ladder every time I needed to pack an order.

Early on, I had to sell my treasured vintage 1973 Yoshimura Kawasaki Z-1 to buy groceries.

Also diapers for the new baby boy. Thanks a lot, Kevin!

I still miss that bike.

It was mostly youthful self-confidence and a strong work ethic that kept me going through those early years.

Long before my phone was ringing with orders, I was doing the dialing, talking to motorcycle dealers across the country. ☎️

I just straight-up asked them what it would take to get their business. The response was remarkably consistent and straightforward.

“Have the parts in stock and deliver them quickly.”

Okay, then!

Based on this, I focused on two things:

First, I vowed to have the best fill-rate in the industry.

That wasn’t easy since I had extremely limited cash-flow. But I was determined.

I watched the inventory like a hawk and placed smaller but much more frequent orders with my suppliers. It was more work and more costly, but I offset that by quickly improving my fill-rate to over 95%, a number that was unheard of in the industry.

My customers started to take notice.

Next, I established contract rates with the major national couriers allowing me to deliver over 90% of my shipments by overnight courier for FREE. This was years before Amazon. Free overnight shipping was unheard of in any industry.

Suddenly, my little company was a trend-setter. My customers were amazed at the new standard for fast and reliable delivery.

My much larger competitors started to notice also, but they must have figured it was only a matter of time before I bankrupted myself.

How could I afford to offer free overnight shipping?  It wasn’t easy at first, but I also offset a portion of the cost with slightly higher prices.

My customers were happy to pay a little bit more for fast and reliable service. After all, that’s what they said they wanted, and I was delivering!

My sales increased at a rapid pace over the next few years, and I was able to negotiate better and better rates with the national couriers, so my margins steadily improved.

By the time my competitors reacted, it was too late for them. I was no longer the “little guy.” Now, they were the ones going bankrupt, as I became more and more successful and took over their product lines.

Out-Think, Out-Service, Out-Sell

Having the best fill-rate, and providing the fastest delivery were two of the most notable examples of how I out-serviced and out-sold my competitors, but there were many other programs I contrived and implemented over the years.  I was always five steps ahead of my competitors.

By focusing on delivering a superior experience to my customers, I never had to worry about the bottom line.  In fact, I grew my sales at an average rate of 55% every year for 14 years.  From a tiny start-up, my business eventually became a national leader in the industry.

So, what does all this have to do with Real Estate?  Everything!

In business (and life), it’s all about your attitude.

When I began my Real Estate career, I wanted to know what really worked in Real Estate, and what didn’t.

I ignored all the “fluff” that sounded good but didn’t work.

I figured out what worked, and I stuck to my guns.  Luckily, my approach to Real Estate proved to be the best for my clients and for me.  It turned out to be an incredibly rewarding career.

Keeping it Simple

My success in the motorcycle parts business was simple. I asked my customers what they wanted, and I figured out how to deliver it.

In Real Estate, it’s the same thing. Just give people what they want!

 “Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value.” — Albert Einstein

My third venture (Agent Skills) is where I get to give back. It’s where I get to show you HOW to become a person of value. When you achieve that, success naturally follows.

It really is that simple.

It’s easy to feel inadequate compared to Agent Joe Perfect, driving his fancy Lambo-Guzzi from one bazillion dollar listing to the next.

But take heart in this fact: Agent Joe Perfect doesn’t exist.

Oh sure, he’s on “reality” TV. But those shows could not be more bogus if they tried.

And, yes, there’s probably a few fakey-faker agents in your market, juggling payments on their McMansion (and everything in it).

The Lambo-Guzzi? It’s a lease.

Hey, I’m NOT saying you can’t get rich being a REALTOR®. You certainly can!

But I’ve noticed that very few truly rich people flaunt their wealth.

For example, Warren Buffett lives in a modest home he bought in 1958 for $31,500.

Do you think Mr. Buffett drives a Lambo-Guzzi?

Nope. It’s a 2014 Cadillac XTS, a car with a retail price around $45,000.

And yet, every newbie straight out of Real Estate School thinks he needs to lease a fancy new Beemer he can’t afford.

“It’s all about the image!”

Nope. It’s not. ‍

It’s about being the best you can be. It’s about continually improving your knowledge and skills. It’s about being a professional and providing excellent customer service.

Those things matter way more to most people, compared to what kind of car you drive.

And those things are far more likely to bring you real success in Real Estate, compared to the faker-guy with no skills or integrity.

Okay, so you shouldn’t show up to your listing appointment in a rust-bucket and barf oil all over the driveway.

But if you’ve got a five-year-old Honda Accord (or equivalent), good enough!

Take care of it. Keep it clean.

Dress and act professionally. Be good at your job.

Just in case someone who knows me calls me out on this, yes, I’ve owned some cool cars (and even cooler motorcycles) in my life. For example, that’s my 2008 Mercedes E63 in the picture. It’s been gone for a while now, but I still miss it. It was the last of the big AMGs with hand-built naturally-aspirated motors, producing 507 hp.

That probably sounds like a lot of nonsense to many of you.

Unless you’re a hard-core car-guy, like me!  You see, I never bought anything to impress anyone but myself.

I don’t think I impressed any clients with the E63, anyway. Let’s just say the suspension was better suited for a race car than chauffeuring clients. The ride was decidedly un-plush!

Skip the Beemer payments, folks. If you invest in yourself now, you’ll be able to buy any car you want later—even a Lambo-Guzzi.

Great REALTORS® are problem solvers. They tenaciously look for ways to create agreement.

That’s the very definition of a great negotiator.

The best negotiators are highly creative and determined, and they have a deep understanding of human nature and different communication styles. They know WHAT to say and HOW to say it and WHEN to say it in different situations.

Let’s be clear about something. Being a strong negotiator is not about creating a winner and a loser. You don’t win a negotiation. You create agreement.

As a professional REALTOR®, you are constantly negotiating.

We don’t say this out loud very often (or ever), but the measure of your success as a REALTOR® has way more to do with your ability to negotiate with your own clients, as opposed to the one time during a long process when you’re negotiating with the other side.

The more you create agreement with your client, the more success you have. This begins from the first moment you speak to a prospect. Were you able to convince them to meet with you? Did you get the listing? At the right price? Do they keep the home in pristine condition for every showing?

Practically everything you do is a negotiation. And your negotiation skills are directly proportional to the size of your bank account.

Even when you are negotiating a sale, you’re not merely representing your clients’ wishes and acting as an intermediary. ANYONE can do that.

No. You’re creating agreement between both sides. Half of that is relaying a persuasive message to the other side, but the other half is convincing your client to accept a reasonable compromise, for their own good.

Have you ever negotiated a deal where the other side was easy-going and logical, but your client was the unreasonable one?  We’ve all been there.

Do you know a REALTOR® where everything seems to come easily to them? They pick up new clients effortlessly, they hardly ever lose a listing to another agent, they get all their listings sold quickly and painlessly, and they spend less time with buyers but sell way more properties? AND they have a never-ending stream of enthusiastic referrals?

These are great negotiators, and things do come easily to them. They carry themselves with confidence and seem to know the right thing to do in every situation.

Some people say this is a natural ability that can’t be taught. I say that’s complete nonsense.

Having confidence and ability begins with developing the right mindset, which is 100% teachable. ‍

“In your journey towards total domination, having more information than anyone else is an insurmountable advantage.” – Ted Greenmhough

Last week, we talked about how to initiate conversations with people using The FORD Method.

Once you’ve got a good conversation going, don’t be in a hurry to steer the topic to Real Estate.  That’s being a Salesy Slickster.

Do. Not. Be. A. Salesy. Slickster.

Just let the conversation go where it may.  ISTEN, show interest and enjoy the opportunity to meet a new and (hopefully) interesting person. Maybe you’ll learn something! Or, at the very least, perhaps you’ll enjoy yourself!

Life isn’t ALL about Real Estate, you know.

If you’re enjoying the conversation, chances are the other person is, too. You’re developing rapport!

Remember the “O” in The FORD Method (occupation)? If the conversation starts to lag a bit, you can always ask the other person, “What do you do?”.

Now, listen! Show interest. Ask follow-up questions.

Almost everyone likes to talk about themselves. Here is your opportunity to learn some interesting information, and you can mentally take notes at the same time. For example, what is their communication style?

After blabbing about themselves for a while, almost everyone will reciprocate and ask you, “So, what do you do?”

Please don’t use any ultra-cheesy phrases, such as, “I help families achieve their ultimate dreams through Real Estate ownership.”

That makes you sound like an idiot.

It’s perfectly fine (and non-idiotic) to say, “I’m a residential REALTOR®.”

If you say this, and they suddenly have an urgent need to run to the bathroom or get another drink, it’s probably because they’ve had a bad experience with a Salesy Slickster. But if you’ve got a pleasant conversation going and you’ve developed some rapport, chances are they will show interest and start asking YOU questions. Again, allow the discussion to build naturally.

The most common question we get asked is this:

“How’s the market?” ‍

Be careful how you answer!

For example, if you tell people you’re extremely busy, they may think you’re too busy to sell their home. If you tell them the market is very slow, they may think it’s a bad time to buy or sell.

Instead, ask them exploratory questions, in a way that allows you to continue the conversation, such as:

“The market behaves quite differently depending on many different factors, including geographical area, price range, timing, etc. Is there a particular market segment that you’re interested in?”

This type of open-ended question will usually get them talking more, but if not, there’s nothing wrong with asking them specifically if they’re thinking about buying or selling.

You’re NOT asking to be their REALTOR®. That’s too pushy. You’re simply continuing the conversation.

Then, you could offer to help by sending additional information. For example, if they’re considering selling, you could offer to send them all the details on every property that has sold in their neighborhood for the past six months. People love getting this type of information!

Of course, to do that, you’ll need to get their email address, and you should ask for their phone number, “just in case there are any issues with their email.” Now you can follow up with them — more on The Follow-Up, next week.

Now, you’ve got their contact information and a Follow-Up plan. You’re doing great!

Now that you’ve got some rapport going, if the conversation is stalling out, go back to the FORD Method. It’s way easier to come up with new topics of discussion, once you know the person a bit better. Just don’t be fake about it. Enjoy yourself! Sometimes the best way to establish further rapport is to steer the topic of conversation AWAY from Real Estate.

Of course, if the person is a hot prospect, you could push a bit harder and try to get an appointment to discuss their situation further. Just be very careful. It’s easy to come across as a Salesy Slickster, even if you’re NOT one. Remember, they don’t know you well yet. You’ve made a great first impression, so it’s often the best course of action to back off and plan to talk about business later at a more appropriate time and place. ⏰

The Follow-Up is the next step, and it’s where so many agents fail miserably.  I’ll talk about that next week.

As a professional REALTOR®, you should always be ready to discuss Real Estate. But, don’t be a boor.

“Hi there! I’m Jack Smith with ABC Realty! Are you folks in the market to buy or sell within the next 30-90 days?”

Ugh. Get away from me, Jack.

Guess what? The world is sick and tired of salesy slicksters.

Instead, you should be working on establishing a reputation as a Trusted Real Estate Expert, and conducting yourself like a professional.

Have you ever met a family physician at a party, and all of a sudden, they’re handing over their card and inviting you to come in for a check-up? You’re trying to get away from them, and now they’re following you around. “You know, I think I ought to take a look at that mole on your neck!” ‍⚕️

No? This hasn’t happened to you? Yeah, me neither. Because physicians are professionals.

You should conduct yourself like one, too.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to strike up conversations about Real Estate with people you don’t know. You should!

But it’s more natural and far more effective to initiate a conversation about something else entirely, and let it come around more naturally to “what you do.” ‍

If you have a hard time striking up a conversation with people you don’t know at a social gathering, try using the FORD method.

FORD is an acronym for Family (Do you have any siblings?), Occupation (What do you do for a living?), Recreation (What do you like to do for fun?), and Dreams (Could you see yourself doing that professionally?).

Note: The “Dreams” part of the acronym is NOT usually a conversation starter, but it’s a topic that might be appropriate to use later, as you get deeper into a conversation.

“Appropriate” is the key word.  For example, you wouldn’t walk up to a stranger at a party and ask them, “Do you have any siblings?”

However, you might mention to a person that the crazy guy on the dance floor reminds you of your free-spirited (drunken?) brother, wait for a response, and then you might ask if they have any siblings.

Hey! You’re having a conversation!

The FORD Method is a research-backed way to build rapport with people, by asking questions, and then really listening to their answers. Next, you will comment on their responses and ask follow-up questions.

Being adept at small talk is an excellent skill to have to meet potential new clients. Showing interest in the other person will lead to more in-depth conversations, and the subject of “what you do” will come up very naturally.

Unless, of course, the other person is a complete narcissist and only wants to talk about themselves. If that’s the case, move on.  Those people are toxic. ☠️

Once you’ve gotten started on a conversation, it will usually proceed quite naturally. It’s the starting part that is hardest for most people, including myself. But, I’ve found that if I push through that initial awkwardness, most people appreciate you striking up a conversation because they were probably feeling the same way!

Just remember “The FORD Method.” After you’ve practiced this skill for a while, you’ll get good at it, and you’ll be amazed at how quickly conversation starters come to mind.

This is a skill that takes practice, just like anything else.

Next week, we’ll talk further about how to have productive Real Estate conversations, the first important step in nurturing prospects to become clients.

Many REALTORS® believe that Real Estate is a transaction-based business.  Those are the poor ones.

The rich ones know that Real Estate is a relationship-based business.

If you want more clients, you need to interact with more people, more often, and you need the right skills to develop trust and rapport with them.

The most successful REALTORS® project these four distinct attributes, all at once:

• Professionalism
• Confidence
• Friendliness
• Authenticity

What about you?  Ask a close friend or co-worker for their honest opinion, and if you are not clearly projecting all four of these qualities in your interactions, consider how you could improve.

I would say that most agents are weak in at least one of the four.  When you are honest with yourself, and you work to improve your core competencies, you’ll be surprised how quickly people become drawn to you.

Professionalism

In Real Estate, you’re a true professional if you continuously work towards improving your knowledge and skills, and you conduct yourself at all times with the highest possible level of integrity.

Being honest isn’t always easy, but it’s an absolute necessity if you want to develop a reputation as a Trusted Expert.  Telling people whatever they want to hear is the polar opposite of being a true professional.  Your clients are looking to you for expert guidance, so you’ll frequently need to employ a high level of tactfulness!

Tact is the art of telling the truth, while still considering the other person’s feelings.

Tact involves many things, including self-awareness, emotional intelligence, diplomacy, courtesy, and of course, …honesty.

Confidence

The more knowledge you gain, and the more skills you develop, the more confidence you will exude.  However, even if you feel confident, you need to determine if that confidence is coming through in your voice.  Ask a friend for feedback.

Be careful not to overdo it!  People are attracted to quiet confidence — not boastfulness. ‍

Here are a few tips to increase your confidence level:

1. Always make eye contact with whomever you are speaking with.
2. State your opinions with conviction. To do this with sincerity, you need to have a thorough understanding of whatever subject you’re talking about!  If you are weak in any area of your Real Estate business, make a conscious effort to increase your knowledge and skills in that area. ‍
3. Prepare and practice. For example, if you’ve got a newly developed listing presentation and you haven’t practiced it thoroughly, you’re probably not going to sound very confident. I’m a proponent of the Deep Practice method:

• Practice small chunks at a time. For instance, rather than practicing your entire listing presentation all at once, just practice one segment;
• Repetition, repetition, repetition. Do it quickly, do it slowly, do it differently.  But keep repeating the action;
• Be mindful and notice when it goes well. Then, celebrate success.

Friendliness

Whenever you are in situations where you’re talking to people, whether on the phone or face-to-face, it is vital that you come across as a friendly person, especially with Amiable and Expressive communication styles.

This applies to email messages, also!  You don’t need to overdo this but throw in some ‘friendly’ in your writing, especially near the beginning of your relationship.

When I say, “don’t overdo it,” what I mean is, if you want to maximize your potential, you can’t JUST be friendly. You need to balance your friendliness with the other three essential attributes.

I’ve seen some REALTORS® who can survive on friendliness alone!  But they usually max out at about 20 deals per year.  Your natural friendliness is a wonderful trait, so use it, but if you want to increase production, you need to improve the other three attributes.

By the way, I think of myself as a naturally friendly person, but I’ve been told by friends that I sometimes come across as grumpy and disinterested.

This feedback has helped me to have better self-awareness, so I’m more conscious about this part of my persona—not only in work-related situations—but in social situations, also.

Self-awareness is the key to self-improvement. So, ask for feedback, be conscious of your delivery, and make adjustments as necessary.

Authenticity

When you study sales techniques, being “yourself” is not something that is talked about much, but it is highly effective in any relationship-based business.

You should always be looking for ways to better connect with your prospects and clients.

This is why I hate scripts. No matter how smooth you think you are, your prospects can feel when you’re reciting from a script. This is an entirely different experience from simply being a genuine person and following your gut.

Being genuine can’t be faked. If you’re honest and you have your clients’ best interests at heart, why do you need a script for anything?

Besides, it’s much more fun and satisfying to be yourself and speak to your clients in the same way as you would a friend.

Conclusion

In case you’ve never heard this before:

People do not particularly like salespeople.

So, don’t be a Salesy Slickster.

Be a friendly, professional, confident, authentic provider of valuable information and expertise.